Gratitude...

Today was an incredible day. Every Mother's Day since 2005, I have been in complete awe at just how miraculous life really and truly is. Today, that hit home in a big way - a friend on Facebook asked for urgent prayers for a little 9 month old boy who, after waiting his entire life, would finally receive a double lung and heart transplant. While I rejoice for this family, my heart breaks for the other family who lost their little one today - A pain I pray that I never have to experience...

As I read, I shed many tears for this family. I then dropped to my knees praising God for my children, my alive and very healthy children. A reality that I so very often take for granted...

Today, my eyes were opened to just how incredibly blessed I am. God has given us Robert, Hannah, and Wesley to love and raise. To cherish and guide. To be there for with open arms, always and forever...

 

First Holy Communion Pictures

 

My heart is bursting with pride as I sit here. My oldest son has just received Holy Communion for the very first time! He has experienced the joy of receiving the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ! He has officially received his 3rd Sacrament!

When it was time for communion, Lil' Robert approached the altar and bowed before the consecrated host. He told Father Thanh 'Amen' - I Believe - as Jesus was presented to him. Then, Jesus was placed in  Lil' Robert hands and he stepped to the side, made the sign of the cross and returned to his seat - 4 seemingly simple steps that have so much meaning...

 Daddy and I had tears in our eyes as we watched. However, Lil' Robert had a grin that I rarely see spread across his face. He knew just how special today is. He understood the importance of receiving Jesus. He showed Daddy and I that he was truly ready for today. That he understood its importance...

Reflecting on this morning, we are so proud. We are joyous. We are grateful.



Lil Robert's First Holy Communion

Tomorrow morning, Lil' Robert will receive his First Holy Communion. From now on, at Sunday (and any other day) Mass, we will no longer have 3 children receiving their special blessing. Instead, we will have a child receiving the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord, along with us. Instead of allowing our oldest to be the Communion line leader, he will stand in front of Daddy and I as we receive the Body and Blood...

My heart is so full of emotion tonight. Tomorrow, my oldest will make, in my opinion, one of his most important of the seven sacraments. Tomorrow will be a day of rejoicing. A day of memories. A day of watching our oldest grow up...

Robert Edwin, III, Mommy and Daddy are so very, very proud of you. We love you and cannot wait to watch you receive Jesus! I am so grateful that your GodParents are here to watch you as well. You know, your Grampy drove over 600 miles be here? Your Grammie wishes she could be here, but will be praying for you. In fact, she called tonight to talk to you, but we had to put you to bed early because you have such a busy weekend! Your Grandma, Aunt Jeanine, and Aunt Sandra, along with your many cousins will also be there to celebrate with you. We are all so very excited!

Robert, we love you so much! Congratulations on receiving your 3rd sacrament!

XOXOXO

 **To prepare for tomorrow, he has gone through 2years of Confraternity of Christian Doctrine Classes, including a First Holy Communion Retreat. He has also had 8 years of Catholic upbringing and 3 years of Catholic Home Education. **

Sneaky School Wednesday's

As you can see from the title, Wednesday is sneaky school day!

On this day, I will print off some computer sheets that are incredibly fun, yet incorporate math! We will go outside and search for insects and discuss the difference between arachnoids and insects. We will go on a scavenger hunt for different animals and classify them into categories (herbivore, mammal, vertebrae, etc). We will search for acorns that have sprouted and talk about the roots and how they work and what they need to live. We will use chalk to have word races - this works by seeing who can write a given word the fastest, the neatest, and correctly. I will do MANY read alouds and pretend to have trouble with a word and require help. Or I will stop reading at a point where something big is about to happen and the only way they can figure out what comes next is to read the rest of the chapter!

I really think Sneaky School Wednesday's are my absolute favorite day of the week - and I am nearly positive the kiddos would agree since they do not have to open a single workbook!

The other great aspect of Sneaky School Wednesday, is that there is minimal attitude. The fighting is non-existent. But, the love they show towards one another and me is incredible. They love the freedom and their behavior reflects this, which makes me so very happy.

Seeing my kiddos happy is such a joy. It definitely makes me feel like I am doing something right. In fact, as I sit here writing I am watching them create an obstacle course in the backyard. The are having such a great time and using their imaginations in ways that would be hindered in a traditional school.

No matter how hard the day might be, at the end of it, I am so glad that we are able to homeschool. That we are able to have sneaky school Wednesday. That we are able to explore the world in ways a classroom would not allow. But mostly, that my children are able to grow up at their own pace. They are not forced to act a certain way because of peer pressure.

Children are truly a gift from the Lord and I am so grateful (most of the time!) that I am able to spend almost every single moment of every single day with them!

What a gift I have been given!

Lil Robert's Sacrament of Penance

Today was quite the emotional day... Lil Robert made his first confession!

He has been preparing for this day since August, and it is the first step to receiving his First Holy Communion in May - something he can hardly wait to do!

Before making his actual confession, was a little prayer service - complete with songs, a homily, and a Gospel reading. This was followed by an examination of conscience (although we had been going over a much more detailed version!), then a precious performance of the children singing the 10 Commandments. After this, it was time! The poor kiddos looked so very scared as they were split up on the altar and led to their designated priest - I think the look on Robert's face will be forever etched in my memory as he walked towards "his" priest, Fr. Amar!

Lucky for us, not so sure what he thinks - but honestly, I am not worried about that :-), he was in the cry room. Now, those familiar with Christ the King, know that the only thing separating the cry room from the body of the church is a wall of glass! Despite our best efforts, to give him privacy, but that was quite difficult for daddy and I and we found ourselves turning around quite often! All the while, our faces stuck in crazy smiles, while we had huge tears rolling down our cheeks. 

Once he was done, we watched him walk out of the cry room, into the church, and to the side, farthest away from us. At first, we were not sure what he was doing, but then we watched as he went into a pew, lowered the kneeler, made the sign of the cross, then folded his hands and bowed his head - he was saying his penance! Daddy and I just sat there in complete awe - our little boy was growing up! As you can imagine, the tears flowed freely once again!

Once he finished, he picked the kneeler up then made his way to us - the grin on his face was absolutely priceless!

Now onto preparation for receiving the Body and Blood of Christ in just 8 short weeks...

Moments....

Lately, life has been okay - not great, but not terrible. We have resumed our normal schedule and made the most of each day, each moment. School was resumed last week and we have been at it with a vengeance. Our Tuesday and Thursday pre-school resumed this week, as well as my twice weekly tutoring sessions. But, even with this normalcy, the days are still so very hard.

Today, I was having a moment - I needed to get out of the house. I needed to get my thoughts off of my sister and back to my children. So, we packed some carrots and walked across the street to give the horses a treat. The kiddos loved feeding the horses and petting them, even marveling at the vast amount of spit produced with each carrot devoured! It was indeed a wonderful distraction for all of us!

I feel like I have finally found some coping methods for when these moments take hold - whether for minutes or hours. I have found some ways to feel close to her - I have have a pair of her pants and a sweatshirt (stolen one night in MS when I could not get warm) - that I will wear. Or I will grab the nightgown the kiddos made her and bury my face in it, muffling the sobs. (The husband knows when he sees either of these, that I am definitely in an about to break down, missing my sister mood and does exactly what I need - provide the comfort that I so desire)

Aforementioned pants and sweatshirt - we were all huddling together watching the Super Bowl - A bit of normalcy... 

I am trying so hard for these to just be moments and nothing more, but that is hard. It is so very easy to fall into that pit of despair, but I must always remember that I have 3 little people and a husband that rely on me. That need me. That need these seemingly never ending moments, to spread out and just become moments, not hours, not days.

I desperately want to enjoy every second of every day with my kiddos and husband. I want desperately to not be snippy or act grouchy. I want desperately for my smiles to be real and not forced. I want desperately to figure out this new normal. I want desperately to be accepting of it....

I will always miss Maura Annie. I will never stop grieving her loss, but I will also never have these precious moments with my children again. I will never have these moments with my husband again. Everyday that I am stuck in these moments, is a wasted day of memory making with my family - something that I am sure Miss Mischief would not approve of. However, to do this, I must figure out how to let go of the guilt that has such a hold...

Normalcy

I think tonight was the best, the most relaxed, the most family centered night with just the five of us since Maura entered Heaven, three weeks ago...

Disclaimer: You are about to read almost every minute of our evening from 6:15 until 8:40 - Don't say I did not warn you...

I came home from a doctor's appointment around 6:15 and daddy had all of the children sitting at the table while he was finishing up their plates. While they were eating, I worked on straightening the kitchen, refilling milks, and reminding them that if they want dessert, they MUST clear their plates! After dinner, the kiddos headed to the bath while daddy cleaned up from dinner. The kiddos were cleaned and then had some playtime while I folded (confession time) a weeks worth of laundry and vacuumed the floors. Once that was complete, daddy joined us in the bathroom where we read a chapter of The Boxcar Children series that we are working on. We did not quite make a chapter, but that will come into play later! Bath ended and the kiddos lotioned and got into pajamas. Robert and Hannah helped fold towels and then put their laundry away while Wesley and I put toys away, loaded the dishwasher, and started a load of laundry. Once everything was done, and I was satisfied, dessert was served! Daddy stole Wesley's piece of *stale* Valentine's day cake, so he got an even bigger one and the older two chose ice cream. Once they were finished, we all settled on the couch with daddy where the older two each read a page out of the book to us - a routine that we are trying to build to increase those reading skills! What a treat that was - not having to read! Of course, when we announced it was bedtime, Wesley began to complain and had to "read" his own page! Then hugs and kisses were dispensed and off to bed 3 little ones went, smiling as they remembered the incredibleness of the night!

As I walked behind them for the nightly tuck ins, I could not stop the tears as they freely flowed down my cheeks. What an incredible gift tonight was after such an incredibly hard, emotionally draining day that so many do not understand. That so many think I should be over and move on.

Which I am grateful is not. We are a family of nine children very close brothers and sisters. We are each others best friends - and worst enemies. We share secrets that our spouses might not even know. We have been together through thick and thin. Now with two pieces of that puzzle missing, it will take time to find our new normal. This new normal will not be easy to come by, but between the seven of us, mama and papa, our spouses, and children, we will figure it out...in time.

I know that tonight is a gift from Maura Annie. A gift telling me that all will be fine - a gift that I will gladly accept as she allows. The pain will ease and the acceptance will come, but it will all happen in its own time...

Until then, she is in Heaven reigning over her kingdom, trying to let us see just how happy she is. Trying to turn our tears into smiles and laughs. Trying to show us that normal will happen again.

Baseball's Never Been Hotter Than The Jacksonville Suns!

Today, we met up with our homeschool group, HomeGrown Homeschoolers, for a field trip/behind the scenes tour of the Jacksonville Suns Stadium! To say that we were excited is quite the understatement :-)

At first, we tried to keep the trip a secret and let it be a huge surprise for them today, BUT I needed some bribery for nap yesterday and told Ms. Hannah. Now, she was under STRICT orders to not tell a soul, but evidently, she is not ready for secrets.... not only did she not take a nap, she also told both brothers within minutes of me telling her. Ugh!

As usual with the Riker Family, we were running late, but luckily, this is common among home schooling families, and well, families in general, so we had plenty of time to spare. This would have been great, but it was a 90* October day - with no breeze. Another UGH!

Before the tour started, we took a group shot of all the kiddos - go figure, my midgets would stand in the very back where they were only visible from side angles!

 After the group photo, the tour began - at first it was the boring stuff, but after a bit in the fabulous Florida heat, we made it to the dugout, followed by the indoor batting/pitching/practice area, followed by the Suns weight room and locker room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After this, we made our way to the main level, right behind home plate.

 

 

 

 

The kiddos were quite anxious to get to the third floor and after daddy finished taking pictures, we were off. The third floor held the press box (where there was an actual hole in the wall where a ball came flying through the open window and hit the wall - the announcer leaned to the left and kept talking as if nothing happened the entire time!), the crew room for the video guys and scoreboard people, and the suites where you pay too much money to sit in an air conditioned room and watch baseball!

 Once this was over, the tour was over, and it was time for lunch - Capri Suns, chips, and hot dogs - what more could a group of hot, sweaty, hungry kiddos ask for?!

 

After lunch and a few more pictures.....

 

....it was time to head down the stairs and get home....

.... but Wesley wanted to try and buy some tickets first!

As we were driving home, we saw the Jaguars practicing and as we continued towards the Hart Bridge, we noticed that the road was closed and there were many marines and combat vehicles. Curious, we pulled into a parking lot to watch, only to see a few Marines sitting inside of a tank. We pulled all of the kiddos out of the van and walked over to see what was going on. These gentleman told us that they were setting up the vehicles to show off for the Marine Corps Half-Marathon in the morning, but would LOVE to open up the other tank and give us a private tour!

We were able to watch as they lowered the gate, which was pretty cool. Who would have known that lowering a gate was a two man job?! We were able to see him climb into the drivers seat, instead of opening a door - the kiddos thought that was SO neat! He allowed all of us to walk inside, ask tons of questions, and then he even let the kiddos try on the bullet proof vests and helmets! This poor marine, was in full fatigues, and sat in the fabulous, non-breezy, 90* blazing sun....

 

 

We said our thank yous goodbyes and decided that since we had already skipped nap for the day, that we would take the kiddos to Adoration since it was on the way home. Let me just say, I am so very impressed with each of my children. They were so very respectful. The behaved so nicely. There was not a single poor choice made. Lil' Robert for the first time ever, instead of genuflecting in front of the Blessed Sacrament, he laid down prostrate - this brought tears to my eyes as he is going to be receiving this beautiful Sacrament in May of '13.

Once we left the chapel, we walked over to the Rectory to see Grandma, since we had not seen her in a few weeks because of the missions trip to Jamaica, but she was nowhere to be seen. We waited, Robert recited his entire Act of Contrition, Wesley acted like Wesley, and Hannah sat perfectly still. Finally after a good bit, we packed up and left!

 It was an incredibly adventurous morning! We all had a great time as a family and made some very, very precious memories!