God's {Ever So Mysterious} Timing

God's timing is incredible and always works in mysterious ways!

Daddy is the president of our HomeOwners Association. Because of this, he has different signs made and keeps them here at the house. The majority of these signs are delivered by the wife of the owner of our management company (did you follow that?!)...

Friday, she dropped off a new 'Yard Of The Month' sign. Since she had no kiddos and mine were playing quietly (!)we took the opportunity to catch up and chat. At one point, she mentioned her sewing room and bells went off in my head and I ran to m room to gather my supplies....

Aunt Maura's Nightgown created be her niece and nephews

As some of you may know, I have been searching for nearly 2 months for someone to help me create a blanket of sorts using some of my Maura Annie and John David's materials - most importantly the nightgown my kiddos made and the blanket John David used. Everybody that I have asked, does not feel comfortable with such memorable items. There was one lady I called that wanted over $150 for a simple small blanket. Because of these constant road blocks, I pushed it back to the dark recesses of my mind thinking that if it were God's will, the perfect opportunity would arise...

I returned and laid all of my goodies out for her to seep. She looked at the stuff and immediately had the idea of a memory quilt - something I had never thought of! We chatted a bit more and she asked me to gather a few more things and then we are a go!

When she left, I sat in my closet and sobbed. What she is envisioning is far better than anything I could have ever thought of! It was the glimmer of light that I needed after a very difficult week! God is SO good and His timing is so perfect - always!

Memory Quilt Exmple

Later that evening, I emailed my parents about this. I wanted to let them know about the incredible kindness that is still being shown. Well, my mom wrote back that she also looked into one, but the lady in MS wanted to charge well over $1000! Because of that, mama pushed it out of her mind. But, when I saw this, my wheels got to turning!

Since I live so very far away, there is not much I can physically do to help my family, but THIS was something I COULD at least try to help with. I thought about asking mama's approval first, but then decided not to in case it was not able to happen...

So, I thought of different ways to get the word out as to what I was looking for and decided upon social media - a.k.a. FaceBook!

This is what I posted at 5:09pm...
My Dear MS Friends: my mama is wanting a memory quilt with some of Maura Annie's special things. Do any of you sew or know someone that would be willing to help her out in this endeavor? She found someone who could, but wanted over $1000 - no bueno! This gift would mean the absolute world to her, and the entire Gray-Lewis family as well...
By 5:14pm, I had my first offer. Then, at 5:16 came the second!

Papa and Miss Hudspeth 2012

I called mama and informed her that I had 2 people willing to make a quilt! She was speechless - which NEVER happens! It meant the world for me to be able to help with this, however little my part may be! Hearing my mother full of joy is so incredible and after all that she does for us, being able to help in some way with this special project makes me SO very happy!

Mama and Maura Annie loved to snuggle...

During this call though, she informed me that had I called just 30 minutes later, she would have nothing left of Maura Annie. She had all of her clothes packed and waiting by the door and she was going to drop them at GoodWill when she out later!

God's timing is always perfect!

A Picture's Value

A few weeks ago, I received a package from mama that contained some Maura memorabilia - pictures, news articles, prayer cards, and such. At first, I could not look through them as it was just too painful. The slowly, very slowly, I began to pull things out - every few days, I would pull out a new picture or news article. I would shed my tears and take my time. The package remained on my kitchen counter waiting for me to finish going through its contents....

Well, today was the day. I shed many tears this morning, and I felt like this afternoon I needed to look at that last picture. I needed to remember. As I looked at it, I began to cry - the remaining picture was the first one taken after Maura's birth...

Rachael, Phuong, and I stayed behind the curtain with Dr. Wender (a family friend and Neonatologist) while Mama, Papa, and Dr. McMillan (another family friend and Maura's God Mother) helped Maura Anne make miraculous entry into this world, late in the evening on August 13, 1991. It was a beautiful occasion - the first birth any of us siblings had attended and we were just awe struck. We rejoiced. We cried. We were in love. We watched as Maura Anne was Baptized immediately after she was born by Dr. McMillan. We observed when they brought her behind the curtain so that Dr Wender could do his exam - we all just stared at this little 4lb 10oz miracle. We made memories...

That first Meeting

Finally the time came for us to see Mama and for her to hold her brand new daughter. We all gathered around Mama and could not take our eyes off of this absolutely incredible being that just entered the world. It was beautiful...

As I looked closely at the picture, I noticed the pillow case Mama was leaning against - the pillow she had brought from home to use during labor. You cannot read the entire thing, but it says 'Mary Paul' - it is MY pillowcase painted by a dear friends mother when I was little. It is a pillow case I found shortly after we moved to FL that I have slept with every night as a reminder of my family at home...
What a special, unexpected link - one that came at a perfect time when I was feeling lonely and homesick. Now, I have a special link to Maura. One that has been there since day 1, yet we never even noticed!

Mommy is 3-0!

On December 1, I turned 30! I told Robert last year, that all I wanted for my birthdays to come, was to be with my family. Well, life hit some bumps and as we grew closer to December, I knew that it was not going to happen. This brought me great sadness, but I could not let on because the last thing I wanted to was make Robert feel guilty as I knew that he would move Heaven and Earth to get me there if he knew just how badly I wanted it.... Well, he did just that! 

Friday evening, November 30, I was told someone wanted to come look at our house. To say that I was excited is an understatement - the thought of moving to MS made the pain of not going to MS for my birthday bearable. But boy was I surprised when I walked in that door....

Waiting for me was Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer... and my parents, sisters, and brothers! It was incredible! My single, solitary birthday wish had been granted! That night, we laughed, we smiled, we caught up on lost time. I was absolutely in Heaven! Around 10, they left for the hotel and Daddy and I put the kiddos to bed. We stayed up talking until almost 2am as I could not sleep.... When Wesley woke at 4, I was not a happy camper, but luckily, he agreed to snuggle in my bed until Hannah woke at 6 :-(....

When the sun rose and we were all awake on December 1, we realized that Mr. Elf pulled a trick on us - he had the yard decorated with a barn and 30+ cows! The barn read, "HOLY COW! Mary is 3-0!" The kiddos LOVED it! As the day moved on, Aunt RaRa and Uncle JoJo came over and took the kiddos for a bike ride. When they returned, Daddy and Aunt RaRa went to the store.... for some odd reason... while JoJo, the kiddos, and I walked to the Dock. We came home, fed the kiddos and put Wesley down for a nap and Hannah in her bed for some quiet reading, while Little Robert did some reading on the couch.

Within minutes of laying Wesley down, the rest of the crew came over... they have not had little ones around in a while and do not understand how to use an inside voice! Luckily, Wesley slept right through it all.... for almost 4 hours! We all enjoyed some chilli and then just spent time relaxing and bonding --> Making memories! It was fabulous! I LOVED just sitting and chatting with Mama and Papa. I LOVED feeling a part of the family, instead of the outsider that I so often feel. It was so incredibly wonderful!

After a while, everybody decided to go out to dinner. We did and it was so much fun! Of course, they told everyone that it was my birthday! The company was great, the restaurant was slow and mixed up entrees, bills, etc etc. They definitely could have done better! So, we left there a bit frustrated, but little did I know, ANOTHER surprise was coming....

Robert, with the help of 2 very dear girlfriends, had organized a surprise party! After the surprise of the night before, this was the last thing I had expected! I so enjoyed it, though. I LOVED being able to introduce mama to my friend girls - that alone meant so very, very much to me. Since we are so far apart, we do not see each others day to day. So, to be able to do that, made me feel so very good! This was the perfect end to a perfect weekend!

Sunday brought with it the dreaded goodbyes. Those are always hard, but this time it felt just that much harder. I adored every single second of my time with my family. I enjoyed every single second of the entire weekend. There is not a single thing I would change.... except for someone truly buying our house and us moving back to MS! Special thanks to my wonderful husband for all he did to make this past weekend so absolutely incredible!

MY Mother's Wisdom

This week was hard.... and that is an understatement!

The kiddos had a stomach bug ALL night Monday and of course, sick kiddos only want mommy, so I was privileged to be up with them all night. Just when I thought it was said and done, I fell victim. Daddy comes home from work and I go to bed. Luckily, for all 4 of us, this bug was short lived... Thank you, God, BUT it still just wiped us (esp me!) out.

Then, Wednesday night, I ate dinner and regretted it immediately. After 36 hours of being free, I was sick again... except this time it was much worse. This meant in a 48 hour period, I had slept only a handful of hours and had 2 bouts with this stomach bug.... I was exhausted!

When Thursday rolled around, I knew that no matter what, I had to suck it up for Hannah, as it was her 5th Birthday. She wanted to eat lunch with daddy, go to the Zoo, ride an elephant and giraffe, etc etc. So, around 8am, knowing things were grim, I called my doc and he was ever so kind and called in some Zofran and Phenergan to help me through the day....

We made it to lunch with daddy and then the zoo. All the while, I was sipping my gatorade and taking ever so small bites of a sno cone. The kiddos had a great time, but I felt like I had been run over by a train. When we arrived home, we all jumped in the shower and got in pj's. Once daddy arrived home, we celebrated her day with her special request of M and M Cookies (instead of a cake) and poppers, and I went to bed.... early!

So, now we are at Friday. I slept the night prior for the first time all week. When I woke, I was tired, but felt SO much better than I had, so we went on with the day. No sooner had I started school and chores - the things we do daily - did the day begin to go from okay to terrible. I was in tears, the kiddos were in tears. We were fighting about school. I tried to make a game with our english work, but that only infuriated them, which upset me for even trying.... it was a relentless circle. Finally, I gave up and went outside and cut the front AND back yard, something that in our 8 years of marriage I have NEVER done, maybe even my 29 years of life..... And I felt TONS better.... for a bit.

Then, nap was a disaster. I attempted school and attitudes flared again. Then I came to the conclusion that I was done, but it was in a rather attitudy, teenagerish way. I called my girlfriend down the street and she came over with her kiddos and the day was saved.... until they left!

Then it was time for our night to begin... Dinner consisted of Honey Nut Cheerios. No Baths. They did change clothes though. And then bed. I was done. Praise God, daddy was here for bed or I would have been even more distressed......

Once they were calm and asleep in bed, I sent my mom and girlfriend a frantic text. I was sobbing. I was questioning my mothering. I was questioning everything. It was such a hard day that I hardly knew which end was up anymore. My poor girlfriend did not even know it was coming, when she asked the question "How are you?"...

My girlfriend, ever so wise, planned a girls night for tonight! And reaffirmed that I am a good mommy. She recognized that it was a bad day and told me all of the right things.... And she made me cry again!

My mom, sweet and simple..... I set myself up for a disaster. This was a long week. We were sick. I pushed myself way to hard and was like an overly tired toddler - anything and everything pushed me over the edge. I would have never even put that together. Never would I have thought that the days prior played a part into yesterday, but thank you Mama for seeing that and in your kind, loving, mothering way telling me.

So, I do not feel like a failure anymore. I do not feel like I am not meant to be a mommy anymore. I feel like I have had a little insight into that mysterious mommy manual. I have been given advice from the wisest earthly mother I know, my own. I love you, mama. Thank you so very much! xoxoxo