Disclaimer: You are about to read almost every minute of our evening from 6:15 until 8:40 - Don't say I did not warn you...
I came home from a doctor's appointment around 6:15 and daddy had all of the children sitting at the table while he was finishing up their plates. While they were eating, I worked on straightening the kitchen, refilling milks, and reminding them that if they want dessert, they MUST clear their plates! After dinner, the kiddos headed to the bath while daddy cleaned up from dinner. The kiddos were cleaned and then had some playtime while I folded (confession time) a weeks worth of laundry and vacuumed the floors. Once that was complete, daddy joined us in the bathroom where we read a chapter of The Boxcar Children series that we are working on. We did not quite make a chapter, but that will come into play later! Bath ended and the kiddos lotioned and got into pajamas. Robert and Hannah helped fold towels and then put their laundry away while Wesley and I put toys away, loaded the dishwasher, and started a load of laundry. Once everything was done, and I was satisfied, dessert was served! Daddy stole Wesley's piece of *stale* Valentine's day cake, so he got an even bigger one and the older two chose ice cream. Once they were finished, we all settled on the couch with daddy where the older two each read a page out of the book to us - a routine that we are trying to build to increase those reading skills! What a treat that was - not having to read! Of course, when we announced it was bedtime, Wesley began to complain and had to "read" his own page! Then hugs and kisses were dispensed and off to bed 3 little ones went, smiling as they remembered the incredibleness of the night!
As I walked behind them for the nightly tuck ins, I could not stop the tears as they freely flowed down my cheeks. What an incredible gift tonight was after such an incredibly hard, emotionally draining day that so many do not understand. That so many think I should be over and move on.
Which I am grateful is not. We are a family of nine children very close brothers and sisters. We are each others best friends - and worst enemies. We share secrets that our spouses might not even know. We have been together through thick and thin. Now with two pieces of that puzzle missing, it will take time to find our new normal. This new normal will not be easy to come by, but between the seven of us, mama and papa, our spouses, and children, we will figure it out...in time.
I know that tonight is a gift from Maura Annie. A gift telling me that all will be fine - a gift that I will gladly accept as she allows. The pain will ease and the acceptance will come, but it will all happen in its own time...
Until then, she is in Heaven reigning over her kingdom, trying to let us see just how happy she is. Trying to turn our tears into smiles and laughs. Trying to show us that normal will happen again.
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