Count Your Blessings

Count Your Blessings

*Author Unknown*

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;

Count your gains instead of your losses. 

Count your joys instead of your woes; 

Count your friends instead of your foes. 

Count your smiles instead of your tears; 

Count your courage instead of your fears. 

Count your full years instead of your lean; 

Count your kind deeds instead of your mean. 

Count your health instead of your wealth; 

Count on God instead of yourself.

I get daily e-mails geared towards homeschooling families. They are sent out by a Christian organization and always seem to contain exactly what I need for that day...

Today was no different. I found myself feeling guilty for having fun. For enjoying time with my family. I felt as if by having fun, I was forgetting Maura Anne...

These feelings are no different from the ones I had after John David died - the difference being, at the time, I had no husband or children. I was a Freshman in college, living in a dorm room by myself. My days were consumed with classes and tears. I fell into a depression. I lost all of my new found friends - life was hard...

This time, I feel the depression. It is hanging over my head like a dark cloud trying to get in, BUT, I cannot allow that to happen. I have to keep going. I cannot lie in bed and cover my head, forgetting about life. I am a wife. I am a mom. I must keep going...

Each day is a struggle. I am having to learn how to deal with grief in a healthy manner. I am having to find the balance in life. I am having to realize that it is okay to cry. It is okay to be happy. It is okay to have fun. After all, that is what Maura Anne would want - I know that everytime I begin to fall into that depression, which is quite frequently, she points her finger at me from Heaven above and says "No no no no no no no, Paul"