Birthday Party.... #1!

This is the first time that we have had a 'real' party for all of the kiddos. We rented a bounce house, bought 3 separate cakes, concocted a deal with Sno Biz to have sno cones, etc etc. We created and sent invitations to family and a handful of our intimate friends.... since this was the first real party, we did not want to overwhelm ourselves with the possible chaos of inviting a large group of people.....

The air dancers

After deciding to have the party, we chose a date - March 31. It is a Saturday between all 3 birthdays (March 2, March 22, and April 8) and it worked for our extended family. Well, we never planned on inclimate weather and as the week progressed and the chance of rain rose from 10% on Monday to 70% last night to 100% this morning, we knew that things were not looking good. When the rain first started, Hannah and I ran inside, grabbed our Rosaries and said 2 decades. By the time we were done, not only was it raining, but now it was thundering and lightening as well - UGH! Daddy and I went back and forth and finally, after seeking the counsel of an outside party, the decision was made to move it to tomorrow.....

Little Robert's Dinosaur Cake

Daddy and I made all of the phone calls and were ever so grateful when all but 4 families would not be able to join us tomorrow. The kiddos were quite bummed about this, so Daddy and I spoke for a moment and then decided to have those families over today instead.....

Hannah's Cinderella Cake (decorations will be added tomorrow)

So, after these decisions were made, Daddy made the trek to Publix to pick up the 3 birthday cakes for the birthday boys and girl. As he was turning into the driveway at 1:50 (party was to begin at 2), the sun began to peek through the clouds. By 2:45, it was out in all of its glory, so Daddy and 2 other daddies went out with brooms and towels and cleaned the bounce house so that the kiddos could play. And that they did until just before 4 (When the party was to end!). So, I guess that we could have still had the party today since our prayers were answered, but in the end I am glad that we did it this way.... It was much more intimate and a way to test the waters for tomorrow!

Wesley's Monster Truck Cake - He wanted to use his for our Mini-Party today!

Praise God, all of them, Robert, Hannah, and Wesley had a great time. I am so glad that those few families were able to join us today because the kiddos were so very upset about not having any party today.

Wesley testing out the bounce house on Friday!

Mommy and Hannah

Hollis, Robert, Lucas

Big Wesley, Robert, Lucas

Enjoying the bounce house!

Hannah and Robert having a great time!

Big Wesley and Robert

Wesley going.....

....going.....

.....gone!

Cake time!

"Happy Birthday to ya'll! Happy Birthday to ya'll! Happy Birthday Robert, Hannah, and Wesley! Happy Birthday to ya'll!"

It took *multiple* attempts to light the candles thanks to a few anxious kiddos!

We had to sing 3 separate times so that each kiddos could have a turn blowing out the candles!

The cake was good :-)

Aside from the bounce house, the presents were a huge hit! Thank you to all for pampering my kiddos!

SO much fun was had by all!

Robert received airplanes and Hannah a kitty cat that purrs! Wesley was given puzzles! Thank you Mrs. Gretchen, Mr. Troy, Hollis, and Hayes!

Robert trying to break into his transformer - Thank you Mrs. Marsha, Mr. Tim, Wesley and Cooper!

Hannah and Robert playing and Big Wesley swing high as the sky while I get super sweet snuggles from Baby Emerson - Thank you, Mrs. Julia, Mr. Andrew, Xavier, and Felix for coming and sharing your sweet one with Mama Mary!

A huge thank you to all that came out and celebrated with us today. It was so much fun to celebrate each one of our children. To let them know just how very important and special they are.  We love you all!

My Ummy Urts, Mommy

Most days at nap time, Hannah and Wes like to snuggle with me until they fall asleep and then I sneak out and spend some one-on-one time with Little Robert. Well, today, we had some people working in the backyard and I felt the need to keep an eye on them. I did let Hannah and Wesley snuggle together, but that was short lived. Eventually, Hannah ended up sleeping for 3 hours on the couch as the men were just too interesting. Then, Wesley came to me because he had to potty. Once he was done, he said:

"Mommy, I yay down wif oooo, kay..... Me in ur bed, kay? My Ummy Urting and need oooo to old me, kay. Fank oooo, Mommy." 

With that, we moved to my bed where I could watch the men until he fell asleep...... 4 hours later I had to wake him up!

At first I wanted to say no. To do what I had wanted, but then it hit me that one day, I will look back and wish that I had snuggled. I will wish that I had taken the time to take care of their ever so important needs... So, thank you God for opening my eyes to realize what was most important at that very moment in time.

Praying at CCD

Tonight at CCD, Mrs. Yip asked who wanted to lead the prayer. Well, our little 6 year old who, thus far, has been pretty shy in there, raised his hand and led the class in the Our Father - Saying a stanza and waiting for the class to repeat after him. (It would have been great had he led them in the Ave Maria afterwards, but we will save that for later!)

After this, it was his job to read the 10th Station of the cross - "Jesus is stripped of His garments." This was his first time to EVER read in front of non-family members! When Robert texted me and told me that he would be doing this, I was so excited.....yet quite anxious at the same time! Mrs. Yip did help him a bit, but he tried, and that is what is important!

He stepped out of his comfort zone a lot tonight. Something that Daddy and I do not see him do very often. Our little boy is definitely growing up!

At The Doctor.....With 5 Kiddos!

When push comes to shove, you do what has to be done..... Bribery with lollipops and the Kindle watching Sid the Science Kid

Surprisingly, the all did GREAT!

Why?

Lately it seems that I am surrounded by people who are having difficulty conceiving, some without any reason whatsoever. I had reasons. Between my cystic ovaries, stage IV endometriosis, and adenomyosis, I had EVERY reason to NOT get pregnant, yet I did. Then on top of that, I had huge reasons to not carry babies as long as I did. I will always remember the phone call from the Maternal Fetal Specialist during Wesley's pregnancy telling me to come in NOW because my labs were back and were not good. I will never forget the hematologist telling me that the combo of the Factor V Leiden, MTHFR Mutation, and Protein S Deficiency were a 1:1,000,000. With that combo, all of my pregnancies SHOULD have ended in miscarriage.... Why was I given this gift, yet so many others, with no reason, are not?

Then there is our true miracle baby Robert. When he was born, it was discovered that there was a velementous cord and I was in the process of a class 0 abruption. In other words, had I had 1 mild contraction, he would have died. In pregnancies with a velementous cord, babies are delivered at 35/36 weeks, regardless of lung maturity, in order to prevent stillbirth. I was in the very beginnings of labor - He should not be here, yet he is. So, why was my baby spared, yet my friends baby was not just 3 weeks prior for absolutely no reason?

With Hannah, I had a class 2/3 abruption.... My baby brother died from an abruption just 5 years, 3 months, and 13 days prior..... Why was I spared the pain and agony of  this, of losing my child, yet my parents were not?

Finally with Wesley - looking back, although his first many weeks were very traumatic, it was nothing compared to what it could have been. He only required a Level II NICU. I have a friend whose baby had to be transferred to a Level III NICU. He could have come MUCH earlier and required many more interventions than he did. He could have been like the baby next to him that required a chest tube. Or the baby that my friend is caring for that required his chest to be open and covered in a membrane so that the doctors could access his heart and surrounding vessels when needed. He could have suffered brain damage. Wesley could not be here, but he is. And he is healthy. And he has no side effects of his early, rough start. Why?

Please do not misunderstand me, I am beyond grateful for me babies. For all of the gifts that they have brought me, brought us as a family. For all of the Irish Luck that they entered the world already embracing. I truly understand and appreciate just how very, very blessed and lucky we are to have them in our lives. I appreciate just how precious life is and how things can change in an instant. I realize just how miraculous each and every one of them are and how incredible our God is to have given us this gift. So in no way am I really, truly questing God and His plan, I am just wondering. And instead of wondering to myself, I am opening myself up. I am allowing the human side of me to come out.....

MY Mother's Wisdom

This week was hard.... and that is an understatement!

The kiddos had a stomach bug ALL night Monday and of course, sick kiddos only want mommy, so I was privileged to be up with them all night. Just when I thought it was said and done, I fell victim. Daddy comes home from work and I go to bed. Luckily, for all 4 of us, this bug was short lived... Thank you, God, BUT it still just wiped us (esp me!) out.

Then, Wednesday night, I ate dinner and regretted it immediately. After 36 hours of being free, I was sick again... except this time it was much worse. This meant in a 48 hour period, I had slept only a handful of hours and had 2 bouts with this stomach bug.... I was exhausted!

When Thursday rolled around, I knew that no matter what, I had to suck it up for Hannah, as it was her 5th Birthday. She wanted to eat lunch with daddy, go to the Zoo, ride an elephant and giraffe, etc etc. So, around 8am, knowing things were grim, I called my doc and he was ever so kind and called in some Zofran and Phenergan to help me through the day....

We made it to lunch with daddy and then the zoo. All the while, I was sipping my gatorade and taking ever so small bites of a sno cone. The kiddos had a great time, but I felt like I had been run over by a train. When we arrived home, we all jumped in the shower and got in pj's. Once daddy arrived home, we celebrated her day with her special request of M and M Cookies (instead of a cake) and poppers, and I went to bed.... early!

So, now we are at Friday. I slept the night prior for the first time all week. When I woke, I was tired, but felt SO much better than I had, so we went on with the day. No sooner had I started school and chores - the things we do daily - did the day begin to go from okay to terrible. I was in tears, the kiddos were in tears. We were fighting about school. I tried to make a game with our english work, but that only infuriated them, which upset me for even trying.... it was a relentless circle. Finally, I gave up and went outside and cut the front AND back yard, something that in our 8 years of marriage I have NEVER done, maybe even my 29 years of life..... And I felt TONS better.... for a bit.

Then, nap was a disaster. I attempted school and attitudes flared again. Then I came to the conclusion that I was done, but it was in a rather attitudy, teenagerish way. I called my girlfriend down the street and she came over with her kiddos and the day was saved.... until they left!

Then it was time for our night to begin... Dinner consisted of Honey Nut Cheerios. No Baths. They did change clothes though. And then bed. I was done. Praise God, daddy was here for bed or I would have been even more distressed......

Once they were calm and asleep in bed, I sent my mom and girlfriend a frantic text. I was sobbing. I was questioning my mothering. I was questioning everything. It was such a hard day that I hardly knew which end was up anymore. My poor girlfriend did not even know it was coming, when she asked the question "How are you?"...

My girlfriend, ever so wise, planned a girls night for tonight! And reaffirmed that I am a good mommy. She recognized that it was a bad day and told me all of the right things.... And she made me cry again!

My mom, sweet and simple..... I set myself up for a disaster. This was a long week. We were sick. I pushed myself way to hard and was like an overly tired toddler - anything and everything pushed me over the edge. I would have never even put that together. Never would I have thought that the days prior played a part into yesterday, but thank you Mama for seeing that and in your kind, loving, mothering way telling me.

So, I do not feel like a failure anymore. I do not feel like I am not meant to be a mommy anymore. I feel like I have had a little insight into that mysterious mommy manual. I have been given advice from the wisest earthly mother I know, my own. I love you, mama. Thank you so very much! xoxoxo

Happy 5th Birthday, Hannah Elizabeth

 5 years ago today, we welcomed a beautiful 6lb 7oz baby girl into our life! She has brought us so much joy and happiness over the years and we thank God everyday for the miracle that is our daughter!

Hannah's entry into this world was very precarious. From day 1, things were 'iffy'. I will never forget a spur of the moment US at my first OB appt with her where my uterus showed no signs of pregnancy. The doctors were sure that I was in the process of miscarrying, and had me come in for blood draws every 48hrs. When I returned in a week for a follow up US, there was a little sac containing our precious daughter. From there on out, the pregnancy was spent in and out of the hospital for pre-term labor, visiting the high risk OB's twice a week, time on bed rest, an amnio to check for lung development at 35.1wks, and then finally, just before the 36wk mark, I began to abrupt. At this development, I knew that our daughter, whose lungs were grossly underdeveloped just days prior, would be entering this world. And let me say, her birth was by far the scariest as I know how quickly things can go from bad to worse....

When the contractions began, I called Robert and told him he needed to come and take me in. At this time, there was no need to hurry as I was secretly hoping for a VBAC. A few hours later though, things took a turn for the worse and I knew that I was abrupting. I called him at work and told him to come NOW.  He did so and within an hour of my call, she was in our arms for a very brief time before she had to go to the special care nursery (NICU) for a bit. Because of the abruption, her stomach and lungs were full of blood and she needed to be thoroughly suctioned and monitored. Luckily, not long after she left, she was back in my arms and all were comfortable with her breathing. Shortly after this stunt, she quit urinating. We were given the option of, a traumatic for her and I, IV or a, traumatic for me, bottle of formula. We chose the latter, but once she began to potty again, those were a thing of the past!

Since that day, she has kept us on our toes. From her newest issue if intussception, to her spells of breath holding, passing out, seizures (requiring a neuro and cardiac work-up!), to her broken arm and glued eye lid, to her sepsis admission at 16 days old where she had a few apnea episodes.... She makes sure that we are always paying attention, but we would not have it any other way. She is our precious daughter. Our gift from above. Our miracle!

Sweet, Precious Hannah Elizabeth,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are such a sweet heart and mommy and daddy love you so very much. You make us smile and laugh all of the time. You are so silly and so very sweet... except when you get an attitude! Enjoy your day, baby!

Love you always,

Mommy and Daddy

5 Years Old

4 Years Old

3 Years Old

2 Years Old

1 Year Old

A Few Hours Old

Our First Grader

I need to brag for a moment....

This past week, Little Robert has felt the need to surprise me every day while I am in the shower. He will go through the work that I have laid out and choose a few things that he *knows* how to do without my assistance. During my shower, he will start and finish at least 2 subjects without one single utterance of disagreement!

This coming from my son that is going through a not so fond of being told anything phase is incredible! I am such a proud mama!

Mommy and her sweet, motivated boy!

"Mommy, How Was I Made?"

I truly thought I had time before this question was asked, but well, it happened tonight and my standard answer of "God Made You"  was not enough....

Hannah, who is turning 5 tomorrow, was asking me about the day that she was born. We went through the entire day and she asked a lot of questions. I have never been able to reminisce with my children about their actual birth day, so this was a lot of fun.

After a bit, she asked me that question: "Mommy, How Was I made?" I gave her the standard answer of you were created out of love, to which she quickly told me that she ::insert exaggerated eyes and hands:: "just knows that there is more!" I thought for a moment and told her that it took Mommy, Daddy, and God to make Robert, Hannah, and Wesley. Again, she was not satisfied, so I just simply said that God used his magic! To this she started thinking aloud: "I wonder if he wears a magicians hat? A magic cape? A magic wand? Maybe he has a bunny?"

 It took all I had to not laugh at this image of God, dressed as a magician, creating new life with every abracadabra!

Children are truly a gift from the Lord. I thank God everyday for our sweet miracles!

My Snugglebunny!

Sweet Snuggles

We had a ferocious tummy bug sweep through our house Monday night. So, needless to say, I received very little sleep, but made it through the night unscathed.... Until mid morning yesterday! It is never easy being sick as a mother, but tummy bugs are even that much worse! So, I called daddy and told him that I was going to bed as soon as he arrived home, and that is exactly what happened!

After I had been laying down for about 30 minutes, the door creaks open and there is daddy carrying a very sad, solemn Wesley. He had been sitting at the door with silent tears running down his face because he wanted to snuggle... I quickly scooped him up and we snuggled, good tight snuggles until he fell fast asleep!

It is nights like this when I thank God for the gift of my children!

The NICU Nightmare

A friend of mine from High School called me up a few weeks ago and questioned about life in the NICU. You see, she had been on STRICT bedrest since 22 weeks pregnant. At one point, the docs were sure she would deliver so they gave her the steroids to mature Baby G's lungs. When she called, she had miraculously made it to 32 weeks. She asked about life in the NICU. This friend had a list of questions - everything from breastfeeding to IV's and feeding tubes. From diaper changes to vents. She wanted to know it all - the good and the bad. We spoke for a while and prayed that she would never have to experience the NICU Nightmare. . .

Well, on Monday, February 27, I received a panicked text saying "I am 34 weeks and my water just broke. Baby G is on his way. P R A Y!" I told the kiddos and we all dropped to our knees praying. Praying that this sweet baby would be okay. That she would be okay. That her husband and son would be okay. Around 9 that night, I received word that he was here weighing in at 4lbs 6oz! I was sent pictures of this sweet baby boy being held by his father, mother, grandparents, and finally one of him in the NICU. Once again, he miraculously needed no support - no IV's, feeding tubes, oxygen - just monitoring!

My dear friend and I texted daily. I would let her know of my prayers and she would give me updates, ask questions about our experience, vent about the nurses! I will always remember one text asking me if this NICU nightmare ever got easier and honestly, I will say that no it does not. Having your baby away from your side, having others tell you what you can and can not do, how much/how little/how often you can feed your wee one, if you can breastfeed or not, if you can hold, etc. is so very, very difficult that unless you have been there, you can not even fathom. Then there is the roller coaster of they are doing great one minute and the next they are needing some oxygen to keep their sats up. Or they are losing too much weight. Or they are having unknown apnea spells. There was always something to burst your bubble... Until that joyous occasion of passing the 'car seat test' because then you know that the end is in sight - it is so very close. I will never forget her phone call last Thursday telling me that he passed his car seat test and they were anticipating a discharge date of Saturday. We fervently prayed and cried tears of joy when I received a text of this sweet mama at home with here 2 boys!

I remember crying daily for this sweet friend and her family for so many reasons - both for the pain that they were feeling and the pain they were spared. This sweet Baby G just needed to grow. Aside from that, he was perfect. Thanks to my friend and all of her hard work, she was able to grow this baby for 12 extra weeks. She was able to spare them the trauma of what NICU could be....

I must say that now, as I look back at these past 2 weeks, I am grateful for all that we went through with Wes. I never thought that I could use it to help others, but I did. Once again, God knew what He was doing when He sent us Wesley Keegan and had us endure all that we did during those first few weeks of his life and I am able to see that....

*~Gonna Love Myself~*

 This time last year. . .

http://gonnalovemyself.blogspot.com/2012/03/1-year-later.html

Happy Birthday, Wesley Keegan!

Happy Birthday, Wesley Keegan!

Three years ago, we welcomed into our family a precious, beautiful, little baby boy. The day began as an ordinary Monday, full of doctor appointments and work and being a mommy/wife, but quickly turned into anything but that. . .

I left my classroom a little late for my Monday monitoring session at the doc. I was just past 33 weeks and being monitored 3 times a week due to prior placental abruptions. As soon as the nurse attached the toco monitors and left, the contractions began. They were like clockwork, every 3 minutes. I just laid on the table crying as I knew all too well what this meant. When the nurse returned, she asked me if I had been contracting and I played dumb - who, me?! She summoned in the on call doc and he did his exam and then read over my chart. Without speaking to me, he began giving the nurse orders - get her admitted. Begin IV fluids. Type/Cross 4 units of blood. Administer tribudaline. Strict bed rest. No bathroom privileges. And on and on. By the time he left, I was in tears. She gave me an envelope and I walked across the street and went up the elevator. On the way over, I called work and told them that I would not be back and asked if they could pray. I called Robert and told him what was happening and informed him that I was fine, to just stay at work because I was sure that they would stop the labor and I would just be hanging out until it was time to deliver a full-term healthy baby. I then called my family when I finally broke down and just sobbed. When I arrived upstairs, I was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I had no idea what to expect and the reality that I just might be having a preemie hit me full on. So many things began happening at once. . . I had blood draws, IV's placed, exams, monitors, ultrasounds, etc etc. After what felt like forever, the door to my room opened and in walked Dr. Raspa and Robert, laughing. The two people that I needed most at this moment came to my aid. They were both there when we realized that the Tribuldaline was not working. They were both there when the ROC doctor said that they needed to deliver NOW. They were both there to pray with me, with us, before we entered the OR to deliver our early baby.

Things went by so very fast and before I knew it, the doctors said "It's A Boy!" Robert and I both looked at each other and were shocked. We had purposefully not found out this ones gender, but we just knew that this he was really a she, so through our tears, we asked them if they were sure! The next little bit is a blur - I remember them running from the OR to the NICU with Robert in tow. I remember the phone call from NICU telling me that Wesley was being intubated because his lungs were not opening up. I remember the NICU doc visiting me in the recovery room and telling us that he was sick. I remember the birth certificate lady begging us for a name and finally after 3 days, bringing us a name book! I remember holding his first blanket and just sobbing that first night. I remember calling the NICU every hour for an update and then calling and/or texting my mom with an update all night. I remember crying with Robert and with my mom. I remember so much, so very vividly. . .

That first night, as I laid in my hospital bed, burying my face in his blanket, I just sobbed and sobbed. It was the hardest night of my life - just down the hall was my son. My sweet son whom I had not yet seen or touched. It was a very long 36 hours before I was able to finally meet my son and touch him with 1 finger, no stroking because we could not stimulate him.

Once he came off of the vent, things improved by leaps and bounds. After just a few short weeks, he was allowed to come home to be with his family. That day was a gorgeous, windy Saturday, a day that we will never forget. The nurse called us around lunch time and said, "Riker Family, Come On Down!" We could not get there fast enough! It was so beautiful introducing him to his siblings for the first time. Watching them as they gently held and kissed this brand new family member. I loved watching them make sure that everyone "hanitized" before touching our sweet one. We were all just smitten!

Over the past 3 years, there have been many ups and downs. Between his early and unexpected arrival, to his constantly being sick, to his reaching nearly all of his milestones late, we would not change any of it. He has taught us to be more patient and to appreciate every little step. Looking back, I guess that God knew that he would be our last and that my arms would need a wee one for a bit longer!

Also, through this, we have been able to help so many others faced with an uncomplicated preemie NICU stay. At the time, I questioned it, but now I am understanding the why behind that journey! God is really showing us that He is really the one in charge!

Wesley,

Thank you for being our son and for teaching us to be flexible and to just go with the flow. You have enriched our lives and changed it in ways we never imagined - from your sweet and never ending kisses to your crazy temper tantrums. You have amazed us and brought us so much joy. We love you sweetheart! Happy 3rd birthday!

Love Always,

Mommy and Daddy

3 Years old

2 Years Old

1 Year Old

A Few Hours Old