Grief Cannot Be Rushed
Day 21
Your journey through grief cannot be compared to another person's journey. You will grieve in your way and in your time. Grief does not have a set time limit. The only certainty is that it will take longer than you want it to.
"It's a process that cannot be rushed," says Dr. Robert Jeffress. "As a pastor who has dealt with hundreds and hundreds of people who have gone through a loss, I can tell you that it is a process, and it is a longer process than any of us want to believe.
"Going through grief is like going through a tunnel. The bad news is the tunnel is dark. The good news is that once you enter into that tunnel, you are already on your way out."
Your journey is your own, but you are not alone. Do not be afraid to cry out to God,
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Psalm 13:2).
How long, Lord, how long? This tunnel is so dark. Show me Your light. Amen.
Day 21
Your journey through grief cannot be compared to another person's journey. You will grieve in your way and in your time. Grief does not have a set time limit. The only certainty is that it will take longer than you want it to.
"It's a process that cannot be rushed," says Dr. Robert Jeffress. "As a pastor who has dealt with hundreds and hundreds of people who have gone through a loss, I can tell you that it is a process, and it is a longer process than any of us want to believe.
"Going through grief is like going through a tunnel. The bad news is the tunnel is dark. The good news is that once you enter into that tunnel, you are already on your way out."
Your journey is your own, but you are not alone. Do not be afraid to cry out to God,
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Psalm 13:2).
How long, Lord, how long? This tunnel is so dark. Show me Your light. Amen.
You see, yesterday morning, there was a change in plans, and I have found that a 'trigger' of mine since Maura's death is a sudden change in routine. I had I realized this morning that yesterday was Tuesday - she died on Tuesday, January 29, 2013 @ 1:10 pm CST. Yesterday was 5 weeks, and I never even realized it. Once I did today, I
As my day went from bad to worse, I went through my GriefShare emails to look for help, and I found it on Day 17...
Denial
Day 17
Are you living in a bad dream? Is every step and every move you make automatic and devoid of emotion? Do you feel suspended in time and unable or unwilling to start up again?
Don't worry. You are experiencing a typical first reaction to grief—denial. Denial is a natural reaction to one of life's most painful events. Your body uses denial as a protective device, be it consciously or subconsciously, to avoid facing reality.
"The clock will mean nothing anymore," says Rev. John Coulombe. "Barely will the calendar. People won't know what day it is, yet their senses are more keenly aware than ever before. It's like a dream that is happening, and they can't get out of it. Everything is in slow motion. But this is normal; this is a response to death."
You must not feel guilty or anxious if you are experiencing denial; God offers you reassurance for this portion of the journey. You can say with confidence, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).
Oh, Lord God, I am numb in the valley of the shadow of death, but I know You are holding me steady, and You won't ever let me go. Amen
Day 17
Are you living in a bad dream? Is every step and every move you make automatic and devoid of emotion? Do you feel suspended in time and unable or unwilling to start up again?
Don't worry. You are experiencing a typical first reaction to grief—denial. Denial is a natural reaction to one of life's most painful events. Your body uses denial as a protective device, be it consciously or subconsciously, to avoid facing reality.
"The clock will mean nothing anymore," says Rev. John Coulombe. "Barely will the calendar. People won't know what day it is, yet their senses are more keenly aware than ever before. It's like a dream that is happening, and they can't get out of it. Everything is in slow motion. But this is normal; this is a response to death."
You must not feel guilty or anxious if you are experiencing denial; God offers you reassurance for this portion of the journey. You can say with confidence, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).
Oh, Lord God, I am numb in the valley of the shadow of death, but I know You are holding me steady, and You won't ever let me go. Amen
As always that one paragraph meant so very much to me. Much like the email I read upon awakening in tears, clutching the nightgown that was with her when she left this earth and entered the gates of Heaven. I want it to get easier. I want to feel like I am no longer "walking through the valley of the shadow of death" (Psalm 23). I want to really and truly feel happy again. I want life to be 'normal'...
But when you read the rest of Psalm 23:4 it says..." I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Lord, help me to remember this verse in my most troubled times. Help me to remember that you and our Blessed Mother are always with me and all of those who grieve Maura Annie - ready to provide comfort and love, as long as I ask. Keep giving us these little reminders that she is home, safe and sound. In a place where she has no struggles. A place where she will never again experience pain or discomfort. A place where she will always have that huge smile on her face and her hand covering her mouth as she laughs....
Maura Annie, we love you so very, very much and words cannot express just how greatly we miss you. XOXO, Paul
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