1. Desire your kids' holiness more than anything else in the world, and
keep after them like shine on glass rosary beads. (a.k.a. Monica-style):
Blessed Zelie knew, much like St. Monica, that nothing else works for the
formation and conversion of children quite like the prayers of their
doggedly determined mother. So clear from Celine Martin's account of
Zelie's life in The Mother of the Little Flower, TAN Books, is that her
mother's one desire for this world was her children's holiness. She
wasted no time; she prayed for her precious children from the moment she
knew she was pregnant. Celine writes, "Her union with God and the fervor
of her prayers, during her months of pregnancy, were so great that she was
astonished not to see these pious dispositions manifesting themselves in
her children from the dawn of their intelligence." In fact, just before
Zelie's oldest Marie was four and her sister Pauline was not quite two,
Zelie's sister wrote to their brother, "Zelie is already distressed that
her children show no signs of piety." (This has been most consoling to me
as a mother of a four-year-old.)
Despite this apparent set-back in holiness in Zelie's mind, she persevered
in prayer and with great care and patience taught her children the faith
and "gradually and methodically" got her children to "overcome"
themselves.
In the Beatification Process for St. Therese, her sisters Marie and
Pauline said, "We were never spoiled. Mother watched very carefully over
the souls of her children; even the slightest fault was pointed out to be
corrected. It was a kind and loving education, but always vigilant and
careful."
2.Teach your children to pray and pray with them. Celine writes,
"Mother took an active part in our education. I recollect how she always
made us say our morning and evening prayers, and taught us the following
formula for the offering of the day: My God, I give You my heart; please
accept it that no creature, but You alone, my good Jesus, may possess it."
3. Teach your children the value of sacrifice. Zelie used to tell her
daughter whose sisters were begging for her things, "Give it away, my
little girl, and you'll have another pearl in your crown!" This type of
training can transform a household. Much like fasting for adults, nothing
drives home the reality of our faith for little people than choosing to
give up a most favorite stuffed bunny to a little brother who doesn't
deserve nor appreciate the gesture in exchange for heavenly glory. I am
often surprised by how happy the child is who gives away his toy after he
had fought so hard to keep it. And even if it's done with clenched teeth
and someone hissing something about getting a pearl, it's still in the
family vocabulary.
Zelie also encouraged her children to keep track of their sacrifices.
Celine writes, "She accustomed us to obey through love, to please the dear
Jesus, to make small sacrifices for Him. We had a kind of `rosary' to
count these acts (`a rosary of acts'); it was composed of movable beads
which one could slide on a string."
Feeling insignificant in the world? A fun exercise is keeping track of
your own loving sacrifices as a mom on any given day. Out of curiosity, I
counted one morning and stopped when I hit 25 by 7 a.m. How powerful our
work must be to Our Lord.
4. Talk about heaven with your children and make it clear that getting
there is your family's number one priority. Zelie wrote of her daughter
Leonie, "She hears so much talk about the next life, that she often refers
to it, herself, also."
Our family still has a long way to go in this regard, but the little guys
at the moment are at least excited to see those big crowns we've been
talking about and ride down the slides (in the hugest waterpark ever) with
Mary and their patron saints. I need to remember in the thick of a crummy
afternoon that imagining with the children what heaven will be like's a
good game-changer. For myself, picturing melting into Jesus's arms and
snuggling with Mary's mantle while everyone else is safe and eternally
blissfully happy at the waterpark should be enough to see me through to
dinnertime.
With Zelie's prayers and the help of the Holy Spirit, some day our kids
could write about us: "My parents always seemed to me to be saints. We
were filled with respect and admiration for them. I sometimes asked
myself if it were possible to find their equals on earth. Around me I
could see nothing like them."
At our house at the moment, this is at least good for a laugh. But St.
Luke reminds us, "With God, nothing is impossible."
Copyright 2011 Meg Matenaer
{I received this in an e-mail today and knew that it was too good NOT to share. I hope that you are able to get as much out of it as I was.
I tell my kiddos daily that we to be Little Mary's and Little Mario's everyday. That God is always watching us and just like we do not want to make our earthly mommy and daddy sad, we even more, do not want to make our Heavenly Father sad.
This was a wonderful reminder of ways to help them even more and that I do not need to worry about every little detail. That the saints had moms and, like us, they *had* to make mistakes, right?! I am sure that the Blessed Mother made a small, minute mistake here or there. And that is okay. But we need to persevere, learn from it, and move on. . .
May the Angels and Saints and all that have gone before us, guide us and protect us as we lead our children to Jesus and as they lead us down the unknown road of parenting. May we all walk hand in hand throughout life, learning from our mistakes and understanding that we are not perfect.}
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