Maura Anne

This picture was taken of Miss Maura almost 1 week go - I have pictures of her now, but they bring me such sorrow and grief, that I keep them to me...

Maura Anne is in, yet another, fight for her life.  What began 2 weeks ago as a suspected stomach virus, has turned into ruptured, gangrenous, full of E. Coli gall bladder.

Initially, she was doing great, then her lungs began to fill with fluid and her vital signs became life threatening. When this began, she was transferred to SICU where she has been since.

Here is my FaceBook Post from tonight with specific prayer requests:

Yet another day full of ups and downs...

As of now, Maura is still fighting - She is better in some areas, the same in others, and still going downhill in a few.

Tomorrow is a day of many answers - good or bad. Because of this, I come to you with specific prayer requests:
1.) That the doctors attempt at placing a central line is successful. They tried tonight, but because of the Lasix for her lungs, she is "too dry." So, after an incision was made in her neck, the doctors were unable find a vein that is large enough.
2.)Tonight, she has no IV access, so any hydration has to occur orally. Please pray that she can wake up enough so that she can drink fluids and hydrate enough to help with the central line process that will be repeated in the morning.
3.) Pray for her lungs. They have been filling with fluid, which results in great breathing difficulty. Please pray that this fluid can clear before a pneumonia sets in.
4.) Pray for her heart, for its strength and stamina as it is under great stress.
5.) At some point tomorrow, after her central line placement, she will have a HIDA Scan to check her bile ducts because they are worried that they have torn, ruptured, etc. If this is the case, Maura will require another major surgery - opening up her current incision and going in. All of us fear greatly that if she returns to the OR, that she might not come out. Please, please pray that all of the bile ducts are sealed shut.

Thank you for your prayers thus far. They are certainly carrying my family through this incredibly difficult time. They are helping Maura Anne continue this fight for life... once again

 

Helpless....

 Right now, my little sister in in the SICU in MS, 600 miles away, surrounded by my parents and all of my siblings. I am in my bed, running high fevers and testing positive for the flu. I want to be there with her. My heart needs to be there with her, hugging her, kissing her, seeing her with my very own eyes. Now, thans to these fabulous germs that  I have been 'blessed' with, that cannot happen. The last thing I want to do is bring germs to my sister who is already fighting for her life...

That brings me to the title of this post -->

 H.E.L.P.E.S.S. 

I am completely helpless here in FL. Yes, I am praying. Yes, I am doing everything in my power to gather as many prayers for my sweet sister as I can. BUT, I long to do more.... While Wesley was in NICU and I was helpless because I could not help his lungs develop. I could not make him gain weight and eat. I could not regulate his body temperature. BUT, I could pump my liquid gold for him. I could nurse him when he was ready. Right now, sitting at home 600 miles away, there is NOTHING I can do...

So, for now, I pray. I trust. I hope. I believe.

Sending Love and Prayers

Saying A Rosary For Aunt Maura

We decorated a nightgown for Aunt Maura to wear.. Currently it is a blanket full of our FL love...

Introducing....

Miss Hudsbeth 2012

Maura Anne (and 3 of her 5 sisters!)

Keep this little lady in your prayers as she is sick and facing some difficult times.....

Q-Tip Painting

Today is a dreary day on the homefront. It is warm with rain moving in. It is overcast and windy. It is a day that depresses you to look outside....

Since it is Thursday, I have my pre-school class for Wesley and Leighton. We have already begun the process of learning letters and their sounds and how to write them. Early this week, we went on a scavenger hunt for items that begin with L and W. We also used our fingers on sand paper to trace their letters. We have written them in chalk. We have had fun!

Today, however, I wanted to do something different. I was going to take all 4 to the zoo to look for animals that start with 'their letter.' In order for this to happen, the kiddos were to pick up their toys and do their chores while I took a shower. Wouldn't you know it, that once I was done, nobody had done as I asked. As a result, they lost the zoo privilege. (Tomorrow will be too cold, but maybe next Tuesday we will try again - they don't know this, though!) So, I had to go to plan 'B'. Which meant coming up with a plan b!

As I was drying off, I figured out just what we would do. Since we are working so very hard on letters, I decided that I would five the kiddos q-tips to use to create their letters and after that, they would use them to paint. It was a success! Not only did they get some good practice, they also had fun!

Here are some pictures of our very creative morning :-)

Lil' Robert ate WHAT?!?!

For 2013, daddy and I decided that one of our family goals was to get our children to eat better, more nutritious food. As well as a bigger variety as we seem to be in a food slump...

My first experiment was meatloaf. I make it without red sauce, only meat, parmesean cheese, eggs, evoo, black pepper, garlic, and onions - it is delicious! Well, I decided to snazz it up with the addition of 2 zucchini's and 4 carrots coarsely shredded. It was a success! All 3 kiddos ate it - yes, even Lil' Robert who has NEVER eaten anything beyond his normal cereal, bananas, yogurt, applesauce, crackers, and occasionally chicken nuggets/fish sticks. We were shocked and proud - especially when he asked for more!

Well, tonight, we had another breakthrough! After CCD Class, daddy picked up a $5 Hot & Ready Pizza for dinner. He bribed Lil' Robert at 8:50pm, saying that if he ate 2 bites of pizza, he could stay up 10minutea later. Guess who stayed up until 9pm tonight?!?! You guessed it, Lil' Robert! And if you ask him, it isn't 'too' bad!

Hannah, My Black Eye Bee

Today in science, we discussed insects and what differentiates them from arachnids (spiders). (In case you did not know, there are 3 distinct differences: 1. 6 legs 2. 3 parts to the body and 3. Antennae)...

Well, after we finished, I sent the kiddos on an adventure with their binoculars that we made yesterday to find some insects. After a few moments, I realized Hannah was no longer outside. I begin to call her name and walk towards the side gate to see if maybe she, in some mysterious way, interpreted stay in the backyard as go to the front yard. As I round the corner to the gate, I hear a child made hum behind me. When I turn around, I saw a beautiful bee that just so happened to resemble my sweet Hannah!

Hannah, My Black Eyed Bee was oh so proud of her creativity... and so was her mommy! I think it is safe to say that she fully understood the lesson. ;-)

Life Can Be Cruel

2 weeks ago, I had a positive pregnancy test because of an ovarian cyst. Today, I received formula samples in the mail. Yet, 22 months ago, I had a hysterectomy leaving me unable to ever again grow a child within...

When Robert and I married on November 1, 2003, we were open to all life that God provided us with. We were open. We were hopeful. We were happy. We both wanted "a houseful."

After Robert came at 36wks due to a placental abruption and velementous cord, we were scared. When Hannah was born at 35wks due to another placental abruption, we were terrified. The docs told us that I would never abrupt again, yet I did and it was worse than the one before. Then, I became pregnant with Wesley and was diagnosed with Factor V Leiden, MTHFR Mutation, and Protein S Deficiency. My abruptions made sense now and I was started on blood thinners for the entire pregnancy in hopes to avoid another abruption. When labor began at 32wks and failed to stop, I was again rushed to the OR for my third emergency c-section. This time, once inside, it was revealed that I was beginning to abrupt....again.

After this, we were told that another pregnancy would result in my life, the baby's life, or both. We were scared. We were terrified. Outsiders advised us to go beyond the confines of our Faith, but we stuck our guns and were open to God's will. And life happened as normal.

When Wesley turned 15months old, I had my first of many surgeries to avoid a hysterectomy. Sadly, each failed and in January of 2011, it was decided that there were no other options, a hysterectomy must occur. I was lost. We were both sad as we now knew our chances of having a bigger family would never happen. I sunk into a depression, while Robert remained my rock. I researched and journaled everyday leading up to the surgery. It was one of the lowest points that I can recall...

March 3, 2011 came and went. I woke in recovery sobbing that this piece of me, a piece of my feminity, was gone forever. But then I saw my children and realized that I am no less their mother. I looked at my husband and realized that I was no less his wife. I was no less the daughter, friend, confidant...

But, I was and forever will be without the part of me that allowed me to co-create new life with my husband and God. And these past 2 weeks has brought up all of those raw emotions that were pushed into the dark recesses of my head. The knowing that this will never happen again is so hard. I loved being pregnant, but I did not fully embrace it. Had I known that that last time, I would have done things differently, taken pictures, journaled more, etc etc...

It took losing my fertility to fully appreciate the true gift that it is, a statement that brings me great sadness...

Water, anyone?!?!

Appearantly, Wesley was thirsty....

Welcome 2013

I think we could have started 2013 off a little better, but instead, it has begun with mommy growing an orange on my only remaining ovary and 2/3's of the kiddos getting Croup (and a good case at that) requiring oral prednisone AND 3 doses of Albuterol for each. For the first many days of 2013, I sat around thinking how much worse can this get, and then without fail, one of the kiddos would have a coughing fit that ended in vomiting, or would begin to wheeze and not be able to breathe, or somebody would head butt me in the tummy sending me into a fetal position while crying, or we would go to the doctor for a 3rd visit in less than 24hours.... IT WAS GREAT!

Then came the first Saturday of 2013, and we played games. We laughed. We read. We had fun. We enjoyed being a family. We enjoyed being in each others company - even with sick kiddos, a tired daddy, and an exhausted mommy. This was truly a great day!

But, Sunday was a different story... It began with the rear end of my van becoming very intimate with the front of Robert's truck early in the morning. Then Hannah spiked a high fever and began to wheeze requiring her use of steroids. As much as I wanted to nap, I couldn't and then I had a headache. The day was going bad and just seemed to be at a steady downhill motion.... UNTIL dinner. Our oal as parents for 2013 is to get our kiddos to eat better and try new foods - especially Lil Robert. Well, last night, I made a meatloaf FULL of zucchini and carrots, and onions, and garlic and wouldn't you know it that Lil Robert not only ate it, but has been begging to have it for dinner ALL day! It has only taken 7 years and 9months to get him to try REAL food!  I was sobbing like a baby!

The one thing that has been great so far this year is our school. We seem to be in a good rhythm. The kiddos are fighting me less and understanding more. We still have a ways to go until I think I will be at a happy place with it, but for now, I am grateful for baby steps!

After these first few days of 2013, I think we are ready for anything - So, bring it!

Lil' Robert's Day Spa and Salon

Recently, Lil' Robert has taken a liking to making mommy beautiful! He enjoys doing my hair. My nails. He offered to do my make-up, but I declined!

Here is a picture of my typical hairdo that he will give me....