Seasons

In just a few days, our season of  the kiddos birthdays begins. So much to celebrate, yet so much sadness all at the same time as I have never been one that is great with the growing up bit and I rejoice with all of my heart in all that God has given me, given us, three precious and beautiful children, but at the same time, I mourn what will never be happen again. Such bittersweet emotions. . .

Right now, things are particularly hard. I think that it is because of the combination of the birthdays and the first anniversary of my surgery and its permanence. I know that if it is God's will for us to grow our family, that He will open the doors, but my human self is quite impatient! 

I also find myself trying to hold onto each of my children, to prevent them from growing up, yet at the same time I am absolutely LOVING all that they are doing and learning. Little Robert is becoming such a great kiddo - just this morning, he unloaded the entire dishwasher without me asking. Hannah blows me away with her huge heart and her ability to remember her lessons - she is 4 years old and reading! Wesley, my sweet Wesley is becoming such an independent boy. He still relies on me when he needs comfort or is upset, but he is branching out. Just today at a birthday party, he left my side for the majority of the party and played without needing mommy. I adored my freedom, but greatly missed the days when I was tied down because I had a toddler in diapers and a newborn needing to nurse and had not slept, much less showered in days!

I guess like all things in life, there is a season and this one is a hard one for me. For now, I will hold my kiddos tight and continue to cherish each and every moment!